Brian's Blog

Thursday, February 02, 2006

WARNING! This may gross you out!

So, tomorrow I have to go take a drug test for my new job. Which reminds of the last time I took a drug test, back in August, for my airport job. So heres the semi-disgusting story:

In a galaxy far far far away...wait wait thats another story of my adventure with a star fleet destroyer craft vessel ship. Sorry, my first day off has caused my mind to wonder a bit from boredom. But anyways...Back in August I had to take a drug test. I arrived at the testing facility and filled out the normal forms asking about my medical and partying history. You know, the typical are you diabetic, are you pregnant, have you experimented with methamphetamines or crack cocaine type of questions. While filling out the forms a guy sitting near me stood up. And when he stood up a little bag of urine fell out of his pants and spilled on the floor. [The bag that it was in was just a sandwich bag...you know the ones that you fold over that don't have any sort of ziploc seal. The fact that guy put it in this type of bag is what really gets me. He obviously was a complete idiot for many different reasons.] Then, realizing he messed up (I'm positive this wasn't the first time he messed up at something) he quickly walked out the door like nothing happened. At first I was in complete shock at the situation. After I composed my thoughts, I looked around to see if anyone else in the room noticed what had happened. No one else noticed. I knew if I didn't act quickly someone would eventually notice the little puddle of urine on the floor. So I did the right thing. I walked outside and met up with the guy to offer to sell some of my clean urine to him. HAHA! Not really, actually I alerted to receptionists about what had happened and that someone needed to clean it up before i got sick. They, like me, were somewhat awed at the whole thing. They went outside and told the guy he needs to come back in and stay inside. The guy came back in and sat down. And everything got a little more fishy-er. After about 20 minutes, another man walked in, said hey to guy, and went straight to the bathroom. The guy (urine dropper) followed him into the one person bathroom. Kind of weird huh? The other men in the waiting room noticed this and laughed. They caught on that the guy was getting clean urine from the other. After a minute they came out. The urine dropper gave his friend $20 and his friend then left (THIS IS ALL TRUE). Then I got called to take my test. While going through another questionaire the guy walks in with a nurse to start his test. The nurse, noticing how nervous he was, called in someone else to assist her. That was the last I saw of the guy. I don't know if he passed his test. I don't think he did. Well, sorry if this story grossed some of you out. But, looking back on it, its a pretty crazy and kind of funny story that I felt I had to share with ya'll. All of you should feel very special.

Cobb, out!
Ryan Seacrest stole my exit phrase from me by the way. The bastard!

3 Comments:

At 4:25 AM, Blogger steve'swhirlyworld said...

Now my life is complete; thanks for sharing. Yep, the drug test thing is always good material. I had a friend who was a parole officer, for years, and he said he had to WATCH some of these guys pee in a cup, to prove they didn't use the fold-over, plastic bag technique that you referred to...it was happening in TX too. Anyway, he often wondered what class he took in college that shifted his career to watching criminals pee in a cup. Nice, huh? He went back to school and is now working in a law firm.

 
At 2:32 PM, Blogger Maggie said...

That is indeed a gross story.

Guess what I just did? Sent an email to Steven Levitt asking him for a meeting so I can ask him to be my advisor! I am so pumped. Even if he says no, I'll still get to meet him.

 
At 7:22 AM, Blogger Jaime said...

Brian, I'm ready to hear about your new job. When are you going to write about it???

 

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