Well...its that time of the year when presents are being put under the tree and the weather outside is getting frightfully cold. Its that time of the year when candles and warm fireplaces are what one aches for at the end of a long day of being out in the freezing tundra of Mobile Alabama. Its the time of year when reindeer prance and parade down Airport Blvd while snow its them on the warm dark noses. It the time of year when children are happy and anxious to open the many gifts that were place under the family Christmas tree. Now I'm sure by now you have stopped chuckling silently to yourself and are wondering why the hell I keep talking about the winter season. I bet at first you laughed out loud and as you kept reading you decided that my joke of talking about the winter in the middle of May has worn itself out and is now getting a little bit old and well...not funny. By now you are probably wondering how I'm reading you mind. Its ok. Many people I have come in contact with wonder the same thing about how Brian Cobb knows all and can read minds. Well its simple. The reason I know everything is because I have a gift that God gave me back when I was nine. Heres the story...
It all started on a warm April day on the playground at Holy Family School. Holy Family was a rather poor Catholic grade school so the playground consisted of a swingset, a jungle gym that was about 10ft off the ground (they took it down after many kids fell and broke their arms), and a slide (the was also 10ft high). Well anyways... back to my story, I decide during recess that I was going to swing to the moon. So I did. I had about 10 kids push me on the swing until I was at the right height and speed to jump off the swing and enter into orbit. My plan worked without a hitch. I entered orbit only after 3 pushes from my launch team (the 10 kids mentioned earlier). Thats when things got kind of crazy. Though my calculations were right on how many kids it would take to enter Earths orbit via a swingset. I forgot one major piece of equipment...I space suit. I believe my lapse in judgement on this item was due to the fact that I was only 9 yrs old and I had no previous experience with space travel. As I exited Earth's atmosphere and began to enter the vast frontier of space I found myself lacking oxygen. So I prayed. And God answered my prayers. He invited me into his home. Don't worry people I didn't die. God just invited me in for some crackers and Hi-C juice cartons (which were all the rage back when I was 9). So after some deliberation I decided to accepts God's invitation. God and I talked for while and He told me He was rather impressed with my plan to go to the moon and that He has been waiting for someone on Earth to realize that it didn't take a rocket or a spaceshuttle for space travel all it took was 10 nine year old kids and a swingset. Because I found this secret of space travel. He offered me a prize. And the prize was the ability to know all and to read peoples minds.
The End
